How to Avoid Feeling Lonely in a Time of Physical Distancing

We’re seeing more and more companies asking their employees to work remotely, more people being affected by the Coronavirus going into self-isolation and quarantine, schools and universities being closed and large gatherings being cancelled.

With less human interaction we will be able to prevent infection, but loneliness can also make us sick.[/mpc_textblock][mpc_icon_list preset=”preset_1″ mpc_icon__transition=”slide-down” mpc_icon__icon=”lnr lnr-chevron-right-circle” mpc_icon__icon_color=”#888888″ mpc_icon__icon_size=”20″ mpc_icon__margin_divider=”true” mpc_icon__margin_css=”margin-right:10px;” mpc_icon__hover_icon=”lnr lnr-chevron-right” mpc_icon__hover_icon_color=”#555555″ mpc_icon__mpc_tooltip__border_divider=”true” mpc_icon__mpc_tooltip__border_css=”border-color:undefined;border-style:undefined;” mpc_icon__mpc_tooltip__padding_divider=”true” font_preset=”mpc_preset_68″ font_color=”#888888″ font_size=”20″ font_line_height=”1.2″ padding_divider=”true” padding_css=”padding-top:10px;” margin_divider=”true” margin_css=”margin-bottom:-30px;margin-left:-35px;” list=”%5B%7B%22hover_text_color%22%3A%22%23555555%22%2C%22title%22%3A%22Having%20poor%20social%20connections%20can%20be%20as%20harmful%20to%20our%20health%20as%20%3Cb%3Esmoking%2015%20cigarettes%20a%20day.%3C%2Fb%3E%22%2C%22icon_type%22%3A%22icon%22%7D%2C%7B%22hover_text_color%22%3A%22%23555555%22%2C%22title%22%3A%22Feelings%20of%20isolation%20and%20loneliness%20can%20%3Cb%3Eincrease%20the%20likelihood%20of%20depression%2C%20high%20blood%20pressure%2C%20and%20death%20from%20heart%20disease.%20%3C%2Fb%3E%22%2C%22icon_type%22%3A%22icon%22%7D%2C%7B%22hover_text_color%22%3A%22%23555555%22%2C%22title%22%3A%22Studies%20have%20shown%20that%20loneliness%20can%20activate%20our%20fight-or-flight%20function%2C%20causing%20chronic%20inflammation%20and%20%3Cb%3Ereducing%20the%20body%E2%80%99s%20ability%20to%20defend%20itself%20from%20viruses%3C%2Fb%3E%20-%20a%20fact%20very%20relevant%20to%20fighting%20COVID-19.%22%2C%22icon_type%22%3A%22icon%22%7D%5D” list_padding_divider=”true” list_padding_css=”padding-top:5px;padding-bottom:10px;”][mpc_accordion preset=”preset_0″ auto_indent=”true” opened=”0″ title_font_color=”#888888″ title_font_size=”14″ title_font_line_height=”1.2″ title_font_align=”right” title_margin_divider=”true” margin_divider=”true” margin_css=”margin-top:-30px;margin-bottom:-30px;” mpc_icon__mpc_tooltip__border_divider=”true” mpc_icon__mpc_tooltip__padding_divider=”true”][mpc_accordion_tab title=”SOURCES”][mpc_textblock preset=”preset_0″ content_width=”100″ font_size=”14″ font_line_height=”1.2″]

1. https://www.hrsa.gov/enews/past-issues/2019/january-17/loneliness-epidemic
2. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2841310/
3. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/06/180609124652.htm
4. https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/11/29/457255876/loneliness-may-warp-our-genes-and-our-immune-systems

So, I decided to write this blog post with some tips that I will be implementing myself to deepen my existing relationships, find new communities online and invest in my own well-being.[/mpc_textblock]

#1 SEND MORE AUDIO AND VIDEO MESSAGES

When was the last time you received a handwritten letter? Isn’t it such a great feeling? Someone cared enough about you to write you a little note of gratitude!

My friend Blake Fly is not only great at writing thank-you notes, but he also uses technology in a very efficient way. Whenever he thinks of a person, he immediately whips out his phone and shoots off a little audio or video message.

Often he even just sends me a screenshot of one of my own social media posts and a message like “This looks amazing. Congrats on launching this!”

And using audio and video messages will feel a lot more personal than just writing text, so give it a try. If you have Facebook Messenger on your phone I invite you to start playing around with their fun filters. This makes sending random messages even more fun.

#2 SET UP FACETIME DATES

There is nothing that can replace meeting another person face-to-face, without the use of screens and microphones, but doing a live video call is the closest we have right now (until everybody owns a VR headset).

So reach out to your friends and connect via Facetime, Skype, WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, … there are so many tools out there now.

To make the whole thing more fun, I invite you to combine your call with an activity. If it is cooking together, eating lunch together, watching a Netflix show together, whatever it is, make it something you both enjoy.

It’s challenging to really be present with someone when using technology, so make sure you don’t get distracted and set the intention to be about having a meaningful conversation.

You can always get a deck of my ASK DEEP QUESTIONS cards or one of these other Connection Cards to help facilitate a deep talk if you feel a bit hesitant to launch straight into a vulnerable topic.

#3 HOST YOUR OWN VIRTUAL GROUP EVENT

I strongly believe that if you focus on bringing people together instead of only thinking about yourself, your network is going to grow so much faster.

I used to be a big proponent of hosting Deep Dinners and other small gatherings around having conversations that matter, but this might not be possible in the same way in the next few weeks and months.

So, here are some really fun ideas of virtual gatherings you could host via a Zoom Video Conference:

1. Virtual Dance Party (everyone can dress up and dance in front of their screen, while you curate the music)
2. Virtual Karaoke Night (same thing, just play some karaoke versions of songs from YouTube)
3. Virtual Charades or Games Night (choose games like Battleship that can be played without being in the same room)
4. If you come up with more fun ideas, please share them in the comments of this post ?

#4 START OR JOIN A CLUB OR MASTERMIND

With some extra time on your hands, this might be the time to finally get to read one of the many books on your shelf or learn a new skill. So why not invite some friends to join you and hold each other accountable?

You could also look for existing online book clubs or virtual co-working sessions, like my friend Elan’s Deep Work Sprints or my friends Apryl and Gary’s Accountability Success Circle. And if you want to connect with strangers in a very intimate way, try out this online platform for Authentic Relating and Circling (I just signed up this week to try it out myself).

#5 FIND YOUR PEOPLE ONLINE

Whatever your specific niche interest is, I am pretty sure a community already exists somewhere online with people who share your passion and can’t wait to nerd out with you about it.

Start by making a list of these interests and then use Google and Facebook to find discussion groups and forums where you can connect with each other. Especially if you have a specific challenge right now that makes this pandemic even harder for you (because you’re immunocompromised for example), this would be a great place to find tips, encouragement and support.

I am also planning to add additional chapters to my Find YOUR People Online Course that will consider the challenge of “social distancing” and am considering running another live group coaching program to provide additional resources and support.

If you’re interested, please fill out the application on this page.[/mpc_textblock]

We are approaching a very challenging time and now, more than ever, we need to remember to be kind to each other, support each other and work together. But let’s not sacrifice our relationships. Reach out to someone you think might be struggling with this and ask how you can help.

And if you’re experiencing a feeling of panic, I highly recommend checking out this blog post by my friends Jordan and Megan who put together an amazing recourse at Shift.

Stay safe! ?[/mpc_textblock]